see my land of gnod post for the set up
My Brother: So what have you been listening to?
Me, in a futile bid for cool points: I’ve been enjoying Panic! at the Disco.
My Brother: *sound of meh*
Me: I think their titles are clever, like Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking her Clothes Off or The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage.
My Brother: What else?
Me: I’ve been listening to *cough* Christina Aguilera, Frou Frou, and Savage Garden.
My Brother: Christina Aguilera is the slutty one?
Me: Well, she has a good voice.
My Brother: Frou Frou sounds like one of those ugly-girl bands.
Me: Imogen Heap is actually quite pretty, although there was some controversy about her armpit hair.
My Brother, drops phone: *sound of distant laughter*
note: I believe I was thinking of Paula Cole’s armpit hair not Imogen Heap’s. My apologies to both ladies and their fans.
My Brother: But Doom Garden sounds a little more hard-edged.
note: If I had had my wits about me, I would have said this:
Yes, they’re so hard-edged, their advisory label is in orange, and it’s for TOXIC LYRICS. And that one song, Truly, Madly, Deeply, is so rough that they still won’t play it on the radio.
Sadly, my wits have long been lost under the sofa cushions.
Me, what I actually said: I’ve mostly been listening to their ballads like “I would fly to the moon and back/ if you’ll beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee/If you’ll beeeeeeeeeeeeee mai baaaybeeeeeee.”
My Brother: I get it, I get it.
Me: ’Kay. And for the first time, I’ve been enjoying some country music.
My Brother: !!!What!!! have they done to you!!!?????
Me: It’s mostly the pseudo-country like LeAnn Rime’s Right Kind of Wrong or Shania Twain’s Party for Two.
My Brother: We need to ween you off that.
Me: What should I listen to?
My Brother: Smashing Pumpkins, Papa Roach, and Green Day, but not their latest album.
Me, taking notes: …not their latest album.
My Brother: No more LeAnn Rimes.
Me: …no more LeAnn Rimes.
My Brother: And no more Shania Twain, ever.
Me: …and no more Shania Twain, just a little bit of Sugarland.
My Brother, suspiciously: Sugarland’s not country like Shania Twain, is it?
Me: Nope, not country like Shania Twain.
cf. wits in sofa. This was a bold-faced lie in itself, plus I had no intention of stopping my new Shania Twain infatuation.
The next morning, I left a message on my brother’s answering machine asking permission to blog our conversation.
I got this on my voice mail: “You may use my mouth-words.”
I love my brother.